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You Can Take the Rogue Out of the City...
}} Haley arrives in the nick of time to save Celia. Cast * Haley Starshine ◀ ▶ * Celia ◀ ▶ * Hieronymus Grubwiggler ◀ ▶ * Giro ◀ ▶ * Green Flesh Golem ◀ ▶ Transcript Celia: Look, I'm sure we can come to an equitable agreement. Grubwiggler: Perhaps. Would you be interested in barter? Celia: At this point? Absolutely! What do you want to trade? Grubwiggler: Well, I'm always in the market for raw materials...you have no idea how wasteful making golems can be. I mean, sure, I try my best to practice sustanable[sic] wizardry, but it takes six bodies to make a single golem! Grubwiggler: So I'll make you a deal: I'll void your debt to me in return for that lovely body of yours. Celia: What? Are you nuts?? What do I care about a debt if I'm dead?!? Grubwiggler: Well, your heirs won't have to pay for it. Grubwiggler: Golem, squeeze her until she has made good on her bill, one way or the— Haley appears stage left with a huge bag and attacks Grubwiggler with a sap, "WHUNK!" Haley: SAP SNEAK ATTACK Frankenstein-like golem squeezes Celia, "squeeze..." Celia: Haley! HELP! Celia: Unnnh! Haley: Hold on, I'm looking for my alchemist's fire. Celia: hurry! Haley: I should really get one of those handy haversacks. Haley throws alchemist's fire to the Frankenstein-like golem, "keesh!" Haley: Found it! Golem: Raaarrrgh! Giro: Stop right— Haley: Oh, you want to try your luck, Lumpy? I took down both your pals, but hey, maybe the third time's the charm. Celia (whispering): Haley, I don't think you took down the golem...more like just slowed him down a little Haley (whispering): Hey, you're the one who's against killing, here. It's what adventuring professionals call "a bluff," so just keep standing in his line of sight. Giro: OK, OK! Don't hurt me, please! Haley: Smart man...toad—... whatever. On the floor and don't move. Giro: I'm not even a real hunchback! I stuffed my hump to get this job! Haley tries a clearly marked secret door. Haley: Darn it, the door must have locked behind me. No time to pick it before Grubby wakes up, we're going out the front. Celia: Door? How did you get in here, anyway? Haley: There's a secret passage from the sewers, up through the dungeon. Haley: I woke up when the rain— Celia: Wait, how the heck did you know there was a secret passage in this castle Haley: Hmmm? Oh, I've robbed this castle twice before. Celia: Twice?? Haley: I grew up in this town Celia: Oh. Celia: And what's in the giant sack? Haley: Like I said, "Third time's the charm." D&D Context * Sneak Attacks with a sap do nonlethal damage which can render the victim unconscious. * Alchemist's Fire is a standard non-magical item in D&D. It causes 1d6 damage per round for two rounds on a direct hit, with the possibility for splash damage to those nearby. * The Handy Haversack is a magical backpack. Each pocket of the backpack acts like a Bag of Holding, but it has the additional virtue that whatever item is desired appears on top, preventing the need to search through the bag. * This comic again returns to the gag where secret doors appear as a door with an S on it. This is a reference to a common map convention in D&D maps. The gag first appeared in #522, We're Doomed If She Finds the Map Key. Trivia * The title is a play on the common American English idiom, "You can take the boy out of the country, but you can't take the country out of the boy...", meaning that a boy raised in the country will always be a bucolic rube even if he moves to the city. Here it is used to suggest that Haley cannot escape her thieving origins in Greysky. * The sap Haley uses to knock out Grubwiggler has an unusual provenance: Haley took it from Isamu's corpse in #521, who in turn bought it from the Duergar arms dealer in a flashback in #531. * In panel 2 there's a typo in the online comic: sustainable is written as sustanable. External Links * 577}} View the comic * 85520}} View the discussion thread Category:Grubwiggler Animates Roy as a Golem